The Diplomatic Duties of The H.D.R.L.H.M. (Nancy)

[manic]

El Presidente #1

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"Today is a great day in the annals of our glorious... no that's not quite right, I'm not going to be in the Republic and there's no broadcasting..." The self proclaimed President of Heuco Mundo's first and only republic (fully under his heel) mumbled to himself as he travelled through the Garganta with his small entourage of mildly intelligent Hollows that consisted of his current cabinet.

This was a likely the most important mission the self-styled dictator of a little corner of the desert had been on, and it was a vital one for the continued existence of the Hollow's Democratic Republic Of Lower Heuco Mundo. El Presidente was going in person to ratify a treaty and have the Shinigami formally recognize the Republic as both a full and independent nation and a signatory of the Armistice between Hollows and Reapers. Everything had to be perfect for this: he was a foreign ruler in unfamiliar lands, it behoved him to make a good impression for the Republic.

The Anthem had been prepared and practiced with the surviving Hollows learning the instruments and rhythm required, his Military Uniform was fully blinged out and he had orginized his arrival so that there could be a full parade with himself with the ambassador of the Hollow King: Nancy Nouveau waiting to escort him in to the Seireitei. 

Everything was going smoothly as he touched down in the outskirts of Soul Society, the little monsters making quite the show for the regrettably terrified as they lined the march route, instruments in hand.

"Ahem..." Mateo politely coughed before launching in to full speech mode, puffing his chest out as his own voice drowned out the rattling that happened whenever he tried to make himself look more impressive than usual. "Spirits in the cycle!" He announced "I, Mateo Campos, El Presidente of the Hollow's Democratic Republic Of Lower Heuco Mundo bid you a grand welcome! As the humble servant of the Republic, I have come to you in a mission of peace! To ease the rising tensions so that we may all sleep soundly knowing that wisdom and rationality have prevailed over the thirst for blood and power! I understand that my presence may be a cause for alarm for many of you but-" He continued before opening his snake-like eyes and saw... nobody but his own minions.

"What the- where are the crowds? This is supposed to be a formal parade! It is not a parade without an audience, that's just a troop exercise!" He demanded, snapping his head at the empty streets

"I'm sorry El Presidente..." A cowering hollow answered "They all ran when we went to find some babies for you to kiss as you planned. A lot of them even screamed as they did."

"Of all the... never mind, just play the music." The Arrancar ordered, allowing the Marching music to start up, only for him to call for them to "Stop, stop, STOP!" He yelled "That is not the track that was decided on in the meeting of the 16th cabinet of the Democratic Republic, what is this?"

"I was in the 15th..." Another hollow whimpered.

"Bah!" El Presidente dismissed "You are lucky I cannot appropriately discipline you here. Restart the music! It seems we must use the theme of my humble office as opposed to the national anthem." He groaned before marching on towards the gates to the lair of the ancient enemy. Any false warmth that he had arrived with quickly faded through the incompetence. This Cabinet could do with a re-shuffle, and then a cutting.

[Jessu]

What's the matter? Afraid You Might Like it~?

Nancy Nouveau

Doesn't he know it's rude to keep a woman waiting…? Offered a rather substantial opportunity to see just how well polished her nails had been after her latest manicure, in spite of such opportunity the patience of Nancy Nouveau seemed to be wearing thin as she lingered by the gate to the seireitei for a figure unknown, but seemingly intent on prompting her temper all the same if this delay was anything to go by.
This is his way of reminding me he can still annoy me even a few worlds away, hm? Guessing that this was all part of the plan of a certain someone ultimately and not whatever fool had left her so idle, the blonde let loose a breath as she straightened up and looked to the road which guided folk toward her current locale, but was surprised when she heard her 'guest' long before she ever saw him. Though, one supposed, given the circumstance she was not the only one who had such an experience.

What is…? Certainly not lacking for audible capacity of course and for that reason the woman noting not only the fact that the souls who hustled and bustled about had seemed to make themselves scarce but also the song carrying across the horizon, the eyebrow of the enchantress arched as what seemed like the sound of a fully kitted band began to belt out something jaunty, and entirely alien to what she knew either here or in the place she called home either.
Oh, my good and grand demon lord? THIS is the guy? At the very least forced to note that the baby she was to sit today had some character, though initially not feeling too impressed by such grandstanding, after a second or two of listening to the beating of drums and bellowing of brass the beauty realized what she was dealing with, and that helped her to smile.

My, my, I might be able to have a little fun with this, no~? Perhaps a little slow on the mark when she had been told that she was to escort a dignitary to some manner of meeting with her own current hosts and never realizing just what a foppish fool she might have been presented with, from the sound of the music playing before her the belle knew that she was dealing with quite the egotist, and therefore might have been able to have a little way or two to entertain herself with it.
“Well, well, well… Happy Birthday, Mister Presiidennt~?” This the reason why she didn't follow suit with the sheep in fact and clear the way for what was admittedly a rather respectable retinue, instead she only waited for the sound of his instrumental to die down before she stepped forward and offered out her gloved hand in an effort of eager introduction, and underneath it all felt the gears of her mind working to make her time that little bit better spent as well. I mean, for a woman like her it was very valuable, wasn't it?

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[manic]

El Presidente #2

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The marching band arrived at the gates miraculously intact despite the fact it was a bunch of hollows parading through Soul Society, fortunately neither El Presidente's entourage nor the Shinigami who took up view on nearby rooftops had done anything lethally stupid. Yet. The music came to a halt on cue as the man in charge made his way to the gates, with a more promising prospect politely waiting for him. At least some things were going as planned if the music wasn't.

"Ah ambassador! A pleasure to meet you," Mateo cheered as Nancy offered a gloved hand, the dictator bowing gracefully deep as he reached out to accept, placing a brief kiss on the knuckles before standing up straight and formal "My sincerest thanks for your assistance in this matter. I trust everything arranged is still on schedule?" He asked, staring at the imposing gate, the closed imposing gate with a brief look of annoyance. "I see the His Captaincy is insisting on the dramatic approach but I fear the procession loses something with this stall." The President complained, not bothering to even entertain the idea that it was him who was perhaps off schedule.

[Jessu]

What's the matter? Afraid You Might Like it~?

Nancy Nouveau

Huh. Now that has a nice sound to it, no~? Perhaps only fully appreciating the grandeur in her current assignment when it was spoken aloud, while miss nouveau had accepted her new role mostly for the entertainment and freedom it offered her it was nice to realize the rank she now carried, even if not everyone was as willing as todays guest to acknowledge it. Was it ever wrong to feel one's sense of importance, hm?
“Mateo, right? Or do you prefer we keep things more formal~?” It seeming certain that the appreciation she had toward and interest she had in this odd figure only climbed as a result, the lips of the lady seemed to curl into greater amusement at the decorous way in which he responded to her greeting, and seemed to contrast it by offering a little more friendliness than was likely due in most elevated societies in her response.

“Yes, the council seems to be waiting still, but there's just one thing…” Nodding as she assured the would-be politician of his still waiting appointment but seeming to be shy about the fact that it was with someone of less substantial rank than he likely would have hoped, after a moment she looked toward the retinue which he had brought along with him and decided that they might just cramp her style more than she would have liked, and with that and the suspicious glances they seemed to earn from the men standing by the gate to the seireitei opted to be rid of them.
“I think your entourage may need to wait here? They seem nervous about permitting such a sizeable gathering within their stronghold?” Sighing as she decided that she was well within both her right and means to weave a little deception and not just because of how she speculated on how this figure might do without his toadies, a little white lie was spoken about a matter that none had broached given the strangeness of the event, and as such seemed entirely at her discretion. I mean, there was never no chance of them being slaughtered in the streets here, right~?

“Don't worry ladies, gentlemen and everything in between, I'll make sure I bring him back intact~?” That being said wanting to present herself as only the most cordial host possible and as such dipping to one side and clapping her hands together in apology, the mischievous minx tipped both her mingled mitts and head forward and down into a bow as she offered regret for a decision she had made, and assured the bunch that she would defend their leader while he was away from them. After all, provided he continued to amuse her, that was true, right? No sense in wasting a perfectly decent jester.

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[manic]

El Presidente #3

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The ambassador was as charming as to be expected from a Hollow who had to survive in both the Seireitei and the Hollow King's dominions through charisma, guile and bureaucracy among other traits. Even if the negotiations went disastrously wrong it wouldn't have been a completely wasted day with her "Ah, while it would be a delight to dispense with the formalities were it just the two of us, Ambassador, regrettably I must insist on official titles given the circumstances. At least while in public." The snakelike man insisted calmly. Not even a hint of annoyance at being addressed informally first crossed his mind. What was annoying however was the damn gate.

Mateo Campos was sure he had given full warning in advance about the size of his entourage-slash-marching band, so reluctance at this point struck El Presidente as more than slightly odd. Were the 13 merely flexing on him? Showing that today they were the ones in charge? If so then that did not bode well at all. The idea that instead it was Nancy Noveau playing a trick on the pompous Arrancar not even worth considering "Very well," he sighed, signalling for one of the various Shinigami who had taken up view "You there!" He called "Make sure the retinue are taken some place safe out of the way, if any of them are harmed for reasons beyond their own incompetence make sure that there is an explanation or compensation on my return. Do I make myself clear? This is a mission of peace and it is best for all of ussss to keep it that way." He ordered as a slight hiss took over his voice.

[Jessu]

What's the matter? Afraid You Might Like it~?

Nancy Nouveau

“Very well then, Mr President~” The fair fox feeling a note of disappointment when her guest seemed to insist on a more formal approach, it was always easier to get underneath the skin of another when one had that little bit of liberty and levity which was provided by a more personal perspective, but it certainly wasn't any kind of obstacle which she couldn't work around of course. Maybe she might enjoy the game in it.

Compensation…? At the very least the new buffoon in her life seeming to curl those luscious lips that bit more when he began to bark orders at a sentry who looked like he would be happier carting his companions off to the executioners block rather than the break room, it was almost sweet of their leader to be so concerned about their wellbeing here at the whiskers of the lions den, though even then he seemed to reflect a note of ruthlessness which was custom with their kind in how he viewed them for their value to him than overall.
“Perhaps they might like some refreshments~?” That being said the mischievous minx happy to stir their scenario up a little bit more and give the guard a greater reason to scowl as she suggested the idea of offering at least some civility, Nancy had to stifle a giggle as she imagined a no doubt biased Shinigami sentinel trying to decide what he should serve up for creatures of this ilk, and hoped that she had made his day a little more interesting and far more aggravating for that.

“Now, this way~” That little spot of mischief out of the way and so the main part of their mission together seeming to loom, Miss Nouveau was happy to turn upon her heel and offer her arm and elbow for the visitor to latch onto in order to guide him, and once he had made up his mind on such an issue she stepped off to march through the gate and into the den of their enemies with his jaunty song still lingering in her mind, and perhaps her march as well.
“So, tell me about this… What was it? Humdrum…?” Not that she was averse to the idea of a little conversation and in fact a wicked wench like her preferring to have the opportunity to chew the fat a little as she went about her business, all too quickly was the vixen asking after the organisation which this head honcho had founded, though sadly she struggled to remember what it was called. All she remembered was that it was mash of H's, M's and D's, and not at all catchy, unfortunately…

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[manic]

El Presidente #4

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"Yes, Quite. See to it if they request as such, water should be sufficient with how thick the air is in this realm." El Presidente nodded to add to the suffering Shinigami's workload before taking Nancy's offered arm, letting her guide him through the opening gates while he waved to the still unsure crowd. It was time to see how seriously diplomatic immunity would take them.

"Ah, you must mean the Hollow's Democratic Republic of Lower Heuco Mundo. My home in the lands beyond my true home," He corrected her, gently of course as they walked through the inner streets, large towers of white stone acting as landmarks "I must confess I am unsure how much of this will be news to you. So forgive me if I repeat any information you are already aware of." He said at an increasingly fast pace. As if he was practicing a rehearsed speech on fast forward.

"That we as souls appear bound by archaic forms of governance, i.e. Kings, is such an unfortunate waste. In the Great Expanse alone more knowledge has been forgotten than exists in all the world's libraries, so it is with the thankful memories of my existence in the lands of the living (a rarity among our kind I am aware) that I set upon a path of continued knowledge and experimentation in the most under appreciated field of political philosophy. To bring what has been gained from mortal experiences to our near immortal forms, it would be frivolous to embark on any other course of action." He explained, looking up in to the sky with his chest puffed out in pride.

"And so I raised a nation in the sands, a young one to be sure but every empire was at one point a few huts and a dirt road at one point or another. The Hollows are more intelligent than perhaps we give them credit for, if persuaded to avoid their most base instincts, and from that core our territorial gains have been substantial." Mateo continued, unaware if Miss Nouveau was even paying attention to his words anymore or whether being in close range of him going full windbag had killed the mood somewhat.

[Jessu]

What's the matter? Afraid You Might Like it~?

Nancy Nouveau

Just water? Are they his pets…? Only seeming to be more and more intrigued by the dynamic between the enterprising politician and those who had come to support them, for a moment even one so inclined toward wit and wickedness as Miss Nouveau couldn't help but feel a note of sympathy toward the underlings he had brought with him, given how she had hoped they might at least get something tasty like a biscuit and tea or something. Though, on balance, it was useful to observe.
“Yeah that was it. Catchy.” Nodding however when the oh so generous leader corrected her on the name of his party in its fullest and least memorable sense, the blonde was sure that by the time he had finished talking she had already forgotten what she had been told by the time that she had finished listening to the title, and as such offered a flat and certainly far from genuine note of approval for such a bloated moniker. It was like he had no imagination at all?

“Oh don't worry, I'm sure it will be just as valuable the 'second' time~?” At least seeming to manage to find a little more sincerity when she was told of the purpose of his little band, though not too much since she had never been informed of such ideals and ambitions on any occasion before this one, she flapped those dark lashes of hers as she allowed her guest to indulge himself in a little word vomit, but at least managed to glean a certain interpretation of what she was told.
“…I see. Kind of like a Union?” The flaxen fox frowning slightly as she digested his description and over all it sounding like his ambition was to unite the downtrodden for all of their benefit, in truth Nancy had to silently note that she didn't entirely agree with his intention there. After all, she'd have way less opportunity to bully the lower organisms for entertainment and stress release purpose if they had some form of common good goal going for them, right?

“How do you persuade them to be more intelligent…?” That being said at least finding something to curl her lips in an effort to avoid a snicker, Miss Nouveau couldn't help but arch her brow as the Prez commented on the hidden sophistication of the common Hollow, and asked after he had managed to inspire them to demonstrate it.
“In my experience, the average hollow could barely light a five wat bulb with their brains~?” Noticing in her own time marching over the great wastes of Hueco Mundo that the average wretch there was little more or less than an animal, despite having descended from similar breeds in her own time the devilish darling couldn't help but see them as something rather separate from herself, and as such offered some scornful humour at their expense. Not that she expected any who stumbled over the waste to understand it, of course…

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[manic]

El Presidente #5

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"It is more than a mere union my dear Ambassador," El Presidente insisted as they continued through the winding path, past the various barracks that housed Shinigami when they weren't trying to stab people like him "You see that is the genius of my plan, most people could not muster the same brain power and yet great things were achieved despite that. It is all in the guidance. Legacies can be rebuilt, skills can be relearned after death. I myself am proof of this concept. But I must confess that there are times that I long for the death squads when they fail to march in tune or some other trivial task. Much like the living." He conceded on a sour note. Whether that was his Hollow instincts cutting through or a really telling indicator as to what he was like before was completely up to interpretation.

"Ahem. So, Ambassador Nouveau: since many of the details were tasked with you, which of these complexes will my meeting be held in?" He asked, noting some of the more imposing structures around and none of them looked palace-appropriate. Whatever happened to the most important looking building being the administrative centre?

[Jessu]

What's the matter? Afraid You Might Like it~?

Nancy Nouveau

“Proof? What do you mean…?” The flaxen fox finding herself to be surprised when she found a note of intrigue among the grade A drivel that her new acquaintance had been spouting, for a second Miss Nouveau found her brow creasing as she questioned his assertion about how he was supposedly some form of evidence about how skills and abilities and perhaps even memories could be recovered even in the afterlife, the years which the buxom belle had spent in her rather significant stretch of postmortem adventure had seemed to wear away anything of the woman she was while possessing a pulse, and so she couldn't help but feel at least some note of curiosity over one who had not been quite so eroded by experience.
“Don't tell me you led government in a former life~?” Curling her lip as she imagined him looking that bit more mundane and campaigning in some part of the human world for his party and presumed benefit, it was amusing to think that something of the man he once was lived on in the strangeness she saw now, and especially so since she had no idea how much of whomever she had been still influenced her now. Frankly, she'd loathe any remnant of inferiority remaining, really.

“Ah, let's see here…” That being said our golden girl finding the perfect excuse to express who she had become since expiration when next he seemed to inquire after his destination, while it would have been all too easily to lead him to the office of the adjutants who had agreed to at least the courtesy of a conversation and be done with things it would be entirely too lacking for entertainment, and so the ever mischievous minx elected for a different path.
“I think, yes… Your appointment is there?” The fair femme feeling familiar enough with her new setting to sight the building they intended and instead point toward the one next to it, it was with no small amount of relish which Nancy felt as she steered him in the direction of the department of sewage and sanitation instead and expected quite the hoot therein, as well as a hefty dose of irony. I mean honestly, notions about the rights of lesser beings belonged in the toilet, right?

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[manic]

El Presidente #6

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"More than merely led a government, I rrruled," El presidente specified, his voice turning into a hiss despite his smile as the self satisfied snake continued to explain "Do you see the logic in play now? If such detailed knowledge can be maintained after death then it is a waste to not put it to good use." He finished before being directed to the appropriate venue. The building looked a little understated compared to its surroundings but no matter, surely there would be someone suitable there who had the authority to act on this matter.

If Nancy thought that this was a funny prank to play on Mateo then she must have thought it hilarious towards the poor sap of a Shinigami who was manning the front desk of the department of sewage and sanitation. It was a bad job at the best of times and was certainly about to get a lot worse as El Presidente drew himself up at the desk, the Arrancar clearing his throat to draw attention while his nose rankled, something smelled here.

"Um, h-hello?" The unremarkable Shinigami asked as every sense told him that a Hollow had just waltzed in and demanding his attention. Not just any hollow, but one who had killed a Shinigami before to crack his mask "C-can I help you?" He practically whimpered.

"Oh for goodness sake, sssstand up straight in the presence of a foreign delegation!" Mateo snapped at the poor guy "Now please inform the delegation of your 13 squadrons that their appointment has finally arrived and would greatly prefer if there were no more delays." He ordered. The rattle that accompanied him when he wanted his Reiatsu to be felt getting louder and louder as the desk guy reached for something beneath the desk.

"Ahem... I was not aware of any appointments today with... er..." He stalled, pulling out an impressive leather tome while Mateo's eye twitched, not noticing the sudden swarm of black robes that were forming a circle around the building, Zanpakuto at the ready to kill what they saw as an invading Arrancar.

[Jessu]

What's the matter? Afraid You Might Like it~?

Nancy Nouveau

“Hahaha, really, what happened~?” It seeming that her companion was happy to confirm the suspicion of the siren about his ability to remember his time in the land of the living, while she was certainly curious behind whatever mechanism had endowed him with such capacity at the same time she couldn't help but wonder why someone in such a position of power would end up a hollow, and guessed at a grim fate therein.
“No wait, let me think… Puritanical uprising?” Deciding to make a game of it, Nancy was honestly intrigued by whichever country had sworn this overblown idiot into power, and as such had plenty of fun teasing him on the topic of the demise of his political career, and by her estimation life as well for that matter.

Oh this is gonna be fun, huh~? Equally seeming to draw amusement from the overbearing pompousness which her guest seemed to show to entirely the wrong party, miss nouveau couldn't help but feel as if her Christmases had come at once as Mateo began to tear this poor desk jockey a new one, and as such couldn't resist the opportunity to join in on the fun as well.
“Good grief, don't you know who this is?” Raising her hand in an effort to hold her companion back a little as she tagged in on the action and sneered at the ignorance of the poor and unfortunate fool, the blonde knew that they needed to keep this poor servant of all things civil upon the back foot in order to prevent the truth of the matter being revealed all too soon, and with that was honestly enjoying seeing this strangers lip seeming to flap upward and downward like he was a fish in a bowl. Or perhaps, in this case, a barrel was more apt?

“You are talking to THE El Presidente of the Himbo Republic of New Hollowdonia? What kind of service is this to such a proud and renowned dignitary?” Not that she intended to unload this show of false annoyance without making sure she gave a lick or two to undermine the figure with whom she had arrived, once again she seemed to coincidentally misremember the title of the domain which her entertainment for the afternoon had come to represent, and had to fight to supress a grin as she did so.
“What’s your name? I want to speak to your supervisor, right now!” Meanwhile seeming to channel the spirit of certain shrill and entitled figures who started their name with a capital 'k', there was no shortage of either aplomb or satisfaction with which nancy clapped her palm down upon the counter which separated them before she enquired after the identity of this worthless peon, and then attempted to rouse a higher form of authority from him in order to provide the encounter with an even greater degree of chaos. Really, she was like the proverbial whelp in the sugar store, no~?

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[manic]

El Presidente #7

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When the topic turned towards the end of El Presidente's life, Mateo turned quiet. Visibly frustrated as though the memories still burned as bitterly and brightly as they did when he was a maddened spirit roaming his old lands. But that could be a conversation for later, there was business to take care of.

"Indeed!" The snakelike dictator harumphed as the ambassador swept in to join him in indignant frustration, although the rattle of warning quickly sounded out when Nancy again got the name of his great republic wrong. Seriously, he'd just told her the full title and you didn't get to be a ambassador by being this scatterbrained but right now the Arrancar needed to provide a united front of authority, he'd have to let that faux pas pass without comment.

"Umm, ahh... I..." the poor clerk mumbled, once again pulling what seemed like a knotted rope under his desk while he tried to stall the time before these Shinigami Killers decided he would be their next meal. This just wasn't his day, how did these monsters get in? What were they even talking about? Why was no-one responding to the silent alarm he'd been yanking on for the past minute!?

A heavy door ways behind the reception desk, metal by the looks of things hissed and slid open as another Shinigami entered, although unlike the simple black robe and sandals the clerk wore this man was dressed for heavy work. Thick gloves ran up his arms to his elbows, big stompy boots on his feet, a series of aprons and other coverings over his body and a mask over his face. The mask made sense at least, what with the unholy stench that eminated from behind the door. "Someone bothering you Tana?" The newcomer asked as Mateo quickly covered his face before he wretched.

"What... what is that smell!?" El presidente demanded, muffled by his own arm.

[Jessu]

What's the matter? Afraid You Might Like it~?

Nancy Nouveau

Cute… I almost feel sorry for him~? Unleashing both barrels on the poor lad and seeming to leave him so dumbfounded that his vocabulary seemed to just break down entirely, Miss Noveau had to notice her fondness for those she could leave so thoroughly speechless and so found a little soft spot emerging within her for the flustered fool, and perhaps had she been of another ilk might have left her games there. Unfortunately, she wasn't.
“Well, don't you have anything to say for yourself?!” Not about to abandon such an entertaining game when they were in the thick of it, she supressed the appetite which had been provoked by such meekness and instead continued to pressure this unknown with everything she had, even going so far as to jab at his chest with his finger as he stood there looking like a fish on dry land and demanded some manner of response from him. However, it appeared that today, he was only the appertif.

Jackpot…! The crescent curl within her lips only seeming to tighten all the more as a part who she could only guess from his garb and scent was fresh from a job in the bowels of this society, while the latter was enough to make her wrinkle her nose and try to stifle a gag the golden haired girl went with the change in their representation, and acted as if his appearance was entirely according to plan.
“Ah, I take it you are our one o clock?!” Guessing that the figure she had arrived with would likely question their circumstances if left to focus too much on the outfit he was wearing but also suspecting that he had little acclimatisation to the customs of his current realm, Nancy moved with the moment fluidly and as if everything was going to her plan, and hoped that by not giving her 'ally' time to think she could prolong the gift which was her current prank that bit longer.

“I do hope you have a better grip of things than your secretary here…?” Pushing her hands down to her hips and raising her chin as she acted as if the stench which he had brought with him was something that only Mateo was able to notice, the teasing temptress tapped her foot as she waited for this more assured and experienced figure to draw nearer to them, and then folded her arms across herself in a display of impatience.
“This is El Presidenté. It's considered polite to shake hands when one meets a guest here, no?” All that for the sake of her showing a disdain for the delay and the absence of proper manners in a place like this, given what this new face looked like she could only guess what he was wearing upon his mitt but in spite of that was happy to let her companion get some rather literal first hand experience on the matter as well, though frankly, if her suggestion took place she might just struggle to contain the cackle which was trying it's damndest to erupt from her chest as well, right~?

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[manic]

El Presidente #8

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As the Ambassador spoke with immense confidence about this reeking newcomer being their appointment, Mateo was finding the limits of just how much side-eye he could give someone without turning his head. Something was very wrong, he was a dignitary! There should be hygiene requirements for meeting dignitaries like showering before the meeting, not arriving as though they'd just come off a triple shift at the stink bug and manure factory! And now she wanted him to shake with this?

"Ah, I believe bowing is more appropriate in Soul Society," He ad-libbed quickly, desperate to keep the distance between him and the thoroughly confused Shinigami by making quick work of the formalities. Then, in a stroke of minor genius, he let himself rattle and moved to justify his exit "Apologies, that was a messaging system. It is imperative that I must take this." he lied before bursting out of the building with a dash of Sonido, only daring to take a breath once he was safely outside and up against a wall.

What he could really do with right now was a cigar, about ten of them to clear his head and the air of that foul stench, it was so mind numbingly bad that it took a polite cough from the man next to him to realise he had about 15 swords pointed at his throat. "Ah..." he whimpered, any bravado he had vanishing.